If You LIve In Tennessee, Hide Your Turtles

It's been an eventful few weeks while pet breeders and owners have been occupied with the APHIS comment period and trying to explain to the USDA why raising pets as a hobby should not require the same federal regulation as commercial breeding.  Not only has HSUS been excoriating the Tennessee Walking Horse people and offering bounties on them with the Celebration coming up in Shelbyville (more on that in another post), but it's now illegal to own a turtle in Tennessee.  Yes, you read that right.  Better hide your turtles lest the gub'mint comes to take them away from you.

Oh, it's for our own good, of course.  It always is.

The first we knew about this new edict came from an article in The Tennessean on August 7:

Turtles outlawed as pets in Tennessee because of harmful bacteria

Turtles might be cute to look at, but they also can harbor deadly bacteria, including salmonella.
For that reason, the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency will not issue permits for pet stores to sell turtles or for people to own turtles. That means it’s illegal to keep them as pets in the state — regardless of whether people find them in their front yard or bring them back as souvenirs from vacation.

As it turns out, it's been illegal to purchase those cute little slider turtles in pet shops in Tennessee for years, but now, courtesy of the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, you can't even keep a box turtle that wanders into your yard.

And I have to ask, seriously, has anyone ever, in their wildest imaginings, ever considered getting a permit to keep a turtle?  I didn't think so.

But here's what the TWRA, an organization that I once respected because they gave me some advice about searching for and humanely trapping a missing dog, says on the subject:

Walter Cook, captive wildlife coordinator for the TWRA, says: “It’s common sense.”
“It’s a public health concern and we have to be responsible,” he says. “Being able to pull the skin and legs back into a shell creates a moist environment that aids bacteria growth. And you can’t remove animals from the wild alive because they have a purpose and provide a necessary component to the ecosystem. We don’t know what the population of these animals is or how many could be removed before jeopardizing the population.”

So, if you decipher this statement, Mr. Cook doesn't actually have any data and they haven't done any research, but, by golly, the government is going to protect something or somebody.

Seriously, he makes it sound like millions of Tennesseans are abducting turtles from the wild and I kind of doubt that's happening.  Don't get me wrong.  Turtles are nice and I had some as pets when I was a kid, but without exception, every single one of them was released back where it came from.  My brothers and I always figured out that they weren't too exciting so we let them go.

If Mr. Cook and others say turtles carry salmonella, I will accept that.  But no one I know has ever become ill from handling a turtle.  Maybe they actually washed their hands after playing with the turtle the way their parents taught them.  I know we may have more people with compromised immune systems now, but this whole idea just seems over the top.  They're turtles!  Get a grip.

I've been finding it hard to accept this change myself.  I keep wandering around the house muttering, "I can't own a turtle.  I can't own a turtle in Tennessee."  It boggles my mind.  Not that I wanted to own a turtle, but now I kind of do.  It's just one more thing the government is interfering in, it seems to me.  And it's so silly.

The TWRA says they aren't interested in prosecuting anyone.  Mr. Cook hopes people will donate their current turtles to one of Tennessee's wildlife education facilities.  That just strikes me as funny.  They should go out and get their own turtles, you know?  And turtles are so common in Tennessee who is going to want to see them at an education facility?  Do they really think people are going to surrender their turtles?  Will they have a turtle amnesty period?

Oh, they also say that turtles donated to the wildlife education facilities "will be kept in a closed habitat to reduce the risk of spreading the deadly bacteria."  According to Mr. Cook, "We just don't want anybody to get sick."  THEY'RE TURTLES!  THEY'RE FRICKING TURTLES!  Sorry, but he makes it sounds like they are aliens from another planet.  They live here.  They are a normal, natural part of life in Tennessee and most people who live in suburban and rural areas have no doubt encountered a turtle, with no harm to either side.

Mr. Cook sounds like a fruitcake, if you ask me.  I'm not sure he should be doing this job if he's so scared of animals.

The fact is, all of our pets, our kids, and just about everything around us is full of germs and deadly bacteria.  It's a normal part of life.  If your cat or dog snuggles up to you, you're taking a risk.  When your kids kiss you, you're exposed to germs.  The government cannot protect us from everything.  The more they try, the more of our freedoms they are taking away from us.  There are always people who see danger in everyday things. You can't protect people from every danger they could encounter, including bacteria from pets.

I think if you live in Tennessee and you want to have a turtle, you should go right ahead and have one.  Just wash your hands after you pet him and keep him away from people who have a compromised immune system.

The TWRA can be reached at 615-781-6500 or visit them online at www.tn.gov/twra. Send Mr. Cook some pictures of your turtles, too.  They could hold little signs that say, "Don't Tread On Me."